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Joke of the Day

"How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building? About 16 seconds"

"My tweets don't get the attention they used to. I've seen more stars after getting my head slammed into the headboard."

"BOVINE HIJINX Q; What do cows do for fun? A: They go to the moo-vies!"

"Ladies, if you get in an argument with a guy and you have no chance of winning, start playing with your boobs. Trust me on this one."

"While everyone is busy complaining about their tweets being stolen & put on Facebook, I've quietly become the funniest person on MySpace!"

"Table for six please? ""Is your party coming soon or?"" [Takes 4 turtles and a rat out from coat] I'm going to need booster seats"

"Madonna is talking with the Spice Girls Says she wants to sponsor a reunion tour so long as she can join them. The girls agree to condition. They call her Old Spice."

"Weekends are like an ORGASM: It takes a lot to get there and when you finally do, it's over in no time!"

"One might say it smells like pussy in the room But if you ask a Redditor, they couldn't tell you."

"Nurse: Your name, please? Me: Dr. Feelgood. Nurse: ... Me: ... Nurse: You're not a Dr. are you? Me: No, I won't make you feel good, either."