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Joke of the Day

"Table for six please? ""Is your party coming soon or?"" [Takes 4 turtles and a rat out from coat] I'm going to need booster seats"

"Came home from work early and caught my inflatable girlfriend cheating on me with the beachball."

"Came up with this on a long car ride What's a skeleton's least favorite game? wishbone"

"I walked into the pharmacist's office and asked for condoms for my 12 year old son. The pharmacist asked ""is your son sexually active?"" I replied with ""no he just lays there and cries."""

"Love is one long sweet dream... and marriage is the alarm clock."

"What is Santa's favorite type of cookie? Ask your dad."

"I don't have a gf, but I do know a woman who in the car often asks where this is going so I show her the GPS & she gets mad for some reason."

"What kinda meat does a priest eat on Friday? nun"

"Why didn't Napoleon qualify for the urgent marrow transplant? They couldn't get his bonepart"

"I told my boyfriend I wanted to break up with him for very mature reasons... His dick was too small."