42558

Joke of the Day

"Table for six please? ""Is your party coming soon or?"" [Takes 4 turtles and a rat out from coat] I'm going to need booster seats"

"[creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very"

"How can you tell if someone uses Apple products? Just wait and they'll tell you."

"What's the difference between Tigger and Pooh? I've never smeared tigger on my face"

"What do you get when you drop an egg off the Empire State Building? New Yolk"

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber? He really had loco-motives."

"I used to be addicted to soap... ...I'm clean now"

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i closer together... Because *you* are an *idiot*."

"My doctor recommended that I should stab an unsuspecting coworker, or do some anger management or something."

"I like my coffee like i like my movies... Black to the Future."