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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, if you get in an argument with a guy and you have no chance of winning, start playing with your boobs. Trust me on this one."

"We all hold our hand out for help in this life. The goal should be to have your palm down more often than up."

"I've already had 3 people ask if I have enough wine to last me through the hurricane. Beginning to think I may have a reputation."

"I would tell you a chemistry joke about Sodium and Bromine Oxide but... Na BrO"

"So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. Now she tells me she's an undercover cop. How cool is that for someone her age?"

"Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway."

"Me: I heard you like men with a huge collection of words that they know and can say. Her: A vocabulary? Me: A what?"

"So my friend came to me for help with his problems, but I really had to go to the bathroom... I left telling him I had shit to do, but really I had a shit to take and no shit to give."

"What do you call a midget physic that escaped from jail? A small medium at large."

"Q: Why couldn't the shoes go out and play? A: They were all tied up."