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Joke of the Day

"Weekends are like an ORGASM: It takes a lot to get there and when you finally do, it's over in no time!"

"Friday, I've tried to see other days and none compare to you, I love you."

"Mothers are always one question from ruining your day."

"My Mother in law said to me: ""I'll dance on your grave, when you're dead"" ""Good!"" I said, ""I'm being buried at sea."""

"New study reveals that women actually make better archaeologist. They're always digging up old shit."

"If you fall, I'll be there. Love, The floor."

"What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? I can't make a vitamin..."

"Joke What's the difference between a dick and an ass? I don't know, but your mom seems to enjoy the combination of both."

"me: *tries to befriend another human being* another human being: oh, no thank you"

"What do my iPhone and my girlfriend have in common? They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing."