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Joke of the Day

"The only thing more boring than Lance Armstrong's interview is the Tour de France."

"I can make you speak even MORE Irish. Say this five times fast: ""Your fork can eat jet."""

"*walking with my girlfriend on a beach* *i get down on one knee* ""will you ma..."" *a dog walks past & farts so loud it drowns out my voice*"

"""Yo momma is so ugly, I had to invent a device that allows me to converse without looking at her."" Alexander G. Bell"

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."

"Whats the difference between a feminist and a baby? At some point in its life, the baby will stop crying and grow up."

"Have you ever taken a road trip to the Seagate factory? It's a hard drive."

"I work in an elevator. It has its ups and downs."

"Can I have a broken drum for Christmas? The best thing you could have asked for. You can't beat it!"

"I told my BF I dreamt he got me a ring for my birthday. Later, I found a wrapped box from him, with a book entitled ""the meaning of dreams""."