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Joke of the Day

"*walking with my girlfriend on a beach* *i get down on one knee* ""will you ma..."" *a dog walks past & farts so loud it drowns out my voice*"

"Retired colonel talking of the good old days: Have you ever hunted bear? His grandson's teacher: No but I've been fishing in shorts."

"Will glass coffins be popular in future? Remains to be seen."

"What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess? Shrekmate."

"""What did you do today, mommy?"" ""I invented names, like 'Grand Theft Anal' and 'Mortal Cumbath"" on Twitter, and you?"""

"What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts What do you call nuts on a chest? Chestnuts What do you call nuts on a chin? A dick in your mouth"

"(-1) 23 and it was delicious."

"Doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand A neutron walks into a bar, and asks: ""How much for a drink?"". To which the bartender replies: ""For you, no charge"""

"Two condoms are walking down the street... ...they pass a gay bar and one turns to the other and says, ""wanna go in there and get shitfaced?"""

"To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you.. You have my Word."