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Joke of the Day

"I can make you speak even MORE Irish. Say this five times fast: ""Your fork can eat jet."""

"I used the think that correlation implied causation, but now I know that it doesn't. I took a statistics class last year, and that might have helped, but I'm not so sure."

"Do you want to hear a Knock Knock joke? Okay, you start it."

"I'm not saying... Putin is humiliating Obama, but the last time a Russian treated an African America like this, Apollo creed died."

"Shaq just described himself as a geek. The word has officially lost all meaning,"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is very heavy and the other is a little lighter."

"A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''"

"There are two kinds of friends : those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you."

"It takes 10,000 hours to be really good at something. It's really easy being poor now."

"What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo, apparently."