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Joke of the Day

"My favorite part of Thanksgiving day is when I stuff the Bird. My wife enjoys it too but wishes I'd find another nickname for her lady parts."

"A priest, a child abuser and just plain pedophile went to a bar. And he ordered one drink."

"What's a vampire's fetish? Neckrophilia"

"Oh, you asked if I had a perfect BEACH body. Now I see why you were confused when I said ""Yes, I'm round, ripe & covered in fuzz."""

"Yesterday I met my ex-girlfriend's son and told him about how I once auditioned to be his father."

"There's a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the ""close this ad"" button."

"Why is the area between the boobs and the ass called the 'waist?' Because you could easily fit two more boobs down there."

"Text REDCROSS to a girl and be like"" oops wrong number, I was trying to donate for the 5th time today"" then she'll sex you guaranteed."

"The AutoZone guy said my battery was out of juice but he didn't say which kind so I'm going with kiwi strawberry."

"Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats."