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Joke of the Day

"What do hillbillys do on Halloween? Pump Kin"

"When a waitress asks if I'd like to hear about the specials, I politely explain that talking about retarded people ruins my appetite."

"I wish Adele would hurry up and put out another album so I could end this relationship."

"There was this ancient pagan ritual where they would hit the ground with sticks and shout out. Today we call it golf."

"[trial] Judge: how do you plead? ""not guilty"" J: but you've admitted to dropping an anvil on him. ""he asked me to make him a pancake"""

"I told Leonardo DiCaprio a joke about an Oscar He didn't get it."

"The man who invented the dildo sadly passed away. His funeral went just as expected. Only women came."

"What do you call an Arab oil baron with Parkinson's? Sheik Shake"

"Where do animals go when they lose their tails? The retail store!"

"Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister? Because he never pays his debts"