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Joke of the Day

"Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: Exactly."

Next Joke
 
"I can see clearly now the rain has gone; I can *backs into mailbox* see all obstacles in my way *runs over squirrel* omg I love this song"
"What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints? You want flies with that?"
"At a First Date Conversation At a first date: He: ""I work with animals every day!"" She: ""Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"" He: ""I'm a butcher."""
"Why doesn't Santa Clause have any kids? He only comes once a year"
"So I just learned ejaculation comes out at 27mph. That makes it illegal in a School zone."
"What's blue, standing in the kitchen? STFU, I can paint my wife any colour I want!"
"She said ""Give me 10 inches and make it hurt."" (NSFWish) So I fucked her twice and slapped her."
"Big shoutout to my neighbors, who left their back door open accidentally, when I needed a few things and didn't want to go to the store..."
"Relax lady, you can quit giving me dirty looks. I don't want my own husband, so I sure as hell don't want yours."