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Joke of the Day

"I can see clearly now the rain has gone; I can *backs into mailbox* see all obstacles in my way *runs over squirrel* omg I love this song"

"Why can we never actually see the sun? Because it's in da-skies!"

"I suffer from a rare condition called OCDC, which forces me to salute all of those who are about to rock."

"Who was Mobutu's father? Mobu One"

"What's the longest you've stayed in bed? I usually sleep ON the bed. #DadJoke"

"My card got declined buying toilet paper shit."

"My pick-up line used to be ""Hey babe, I'm a hotspot. Wanna log-on""? doesn't work anymore, now they just yell at me ""fuck off you homeless begger""."

"A flamingo in the streets and a lion in the sheets and a kangaroo at Target and I think Carl forgot to lock up the zoo last night."

"35,000 black people walked into a bar... According to the Louisiana Official Ledger, Jurisdiction Kudrow."

"Q-How did the gay guy feel when he went shopping? A= Like a **girl**. *Lol*"