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Joke of the Day

"She said ""Give me 10 inches and make it hurt."" (NSFWish) So I fucked her twice and slapped her."

"I hate forensic TV shows like CSI. I know for a fact that they are completely unrealistic... I mean come on, women detectives?"

"Did you hear about the man who murdered a dolphin? He was said to have done it on porpoise."

"I hear Sisyphus was a musical genius The original master of rock and roll!"

"I've heard seven cancer jokes today... If I hear tumor, it's gonna benign."

"Friend: I love FB but it's gettin a lil boring. Me: Well that's cause all the cool peeps are on Twi- ..uh are all dead. Yeah they all died."

"Sorry girls, I'm no Bruno Mars, I won't catch a grenade for you. In fact, if such situation ever happened, I'd use you as a human shield."

"Why does a chicken coop have only two doors? If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan."

"What do you call it when a blond dyes her hair? Artificial Intelligence."

"My first kid will be named Gotham. That way when I have to get up in the middle of the night when they're crying I can say ""Gotham needs me"""