43428

Joke of the Day

"I hope the members of Chumbawmba have those Life Alert bracelets, you know, in case they finally can't get up again."

"What do you call a big butt? mASSive"

"Marty McFly had horrible parents. Sure teenage son, hang around with the weirdo scientist who lives alone and drives a windowless truck."

"Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics Interviewer: Could you give me an example? Me: Yes I could"

"The average person eats 8 spiders a year *eating 2nd bowl of spiders* ""WHO'S AVERAGE NOW DAD?"""

"My buddy asked me what it's like now that I'm circumcized I told him not much has changed, I just get a little less head."

"How do you start a rave in Africa? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling."

"What is the difference... Q: What is the difference between leaves and a car? A: One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computational_humor"

"What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day? Deja Moo!"

"My wife asked me recently to do something to commemorate our pet dog who got run over and killed last month. So I took a shit on the carpet."