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Joke of the Day

"Marty McFly had horrible parents. Sure teenage son, hang around with the weirdo scientist who lives alone and drives a windowless truck."

"The best things in life aren't things."

"What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut fucks everyone... A bitch fucks everyone but YOU."

"Jesus: Behold my powers. *walks onto water and falls in* [back in heaven] God: HAHAHAHAHA Angel: HAHAHAHA ""behold my powers"" God: HAHAHAHA"

"say a prayer for all the men who are forced to carry their girlfriends' purses"

"So, Bruce Jenner wants to become a women, eh? He's already got the driving part down. http://www.npr.org/2015/02/08/384663218/bruce-jenner-involved-in-fatal-car-crash"

"What do a pimp and a cowboy have in common? They both know how to throw a hoedown. Not my joke, just passing it on."

"What time zone are you in when you find a sheep stuck in a fence? Mountin' time"

"Q: Have you read the book about very cold temperatures? A: Not only does it have two covers, it has a jacket."

"Why does Fred Williard keep Kleenex in his pocket? They come in handy."