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Joke of the Day

"You know you're old when you get a ""You up?"" text.... And it's 8:25 p.m."

"Q: Why is being in the military like a blow job? A: The closer you get to discharge the better you feel."

"I drink to forget... my alcoholism."

"I ever tell you about the time I dated a midget? I was just nuts over her"

"Why couldnt you trust Castros wife? Because at one point, she was infidel. Ok ill leave now"

"Lois : Clark, are those binoculars? Clark Kent : Yes, I can't find my glasses. Lois : Put them down for a second. Clark : Lois : Clark : No"

"Kid is destined to be gaye My friend just named her newborn baby ""Marvin"""

"My wife told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said Maybe"

"Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. I can accomplish this if I avoid my mother."

"Apple just announced a 20-year plan to develop technology that actually allows grid-like manual organization of Home screen app icons."