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Joke of the Day
"What's the definition of Necrophilia? The urge to pop a cold one."
Next Joke
"A nurse asks an absent-minded doctor, ""Doctor, why are you writing with a thermometer?"" The doctor looks down and says, ""God damnit. Now some asshole has my pen."""
"A satanist asked why I would 420 blaze it, When i could 180 and praise it."
"I guess Jesus turned water into wine... But I'm not too far behind because if I drink enough wine it tastes like water... so I got that going for me"
"I respected people a lot more before Spotify told me what they were listening to."
"1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes."
"Teacher- ""Are you chewing boy?!!..."" ""This is the worst blowjob i received all day"""
"Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers? Because they were stale, matey!"
"Just found out I'm willing to drive 40mph over the speed limit to prevent a PT Cruiser from passing me."
"my doctor asked if it burns when I pee. I said only when it gets in my eyes."