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Joke of the Day
"Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. I can accomplish this if I avoid my mother."
Next Joke
"Last night I got too drunk and sensibly took a bus home Pretty proud of myself...Never drove a bus before."
"My gay friend got fired from the sperm bank. They caught him drinking on the job."
"What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker? Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker."
"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? He's alright now."
"Enthusiasm 365 days until Christmas and people already have their trees up."
"Snoring comes easily to me. In fact, I can do it in my sleep."
"I gave my 1yo a chocolate covered raisin. He chewed, paused, then gave me a look that told me he will never trust another human being again."
"Dentist: ""You need a crown."" - Patient: ""Finally someone who understands me"""
"*goes through crush's phone when he dies* *gets out ouija board* ""who is Emma"""