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Joke of the Day

"After taking a bunch of 7-year-olds on a field trip to the Natural History Museum, I realized their favorite exhibit was ""Elevator Buttons."""

"I've heard the best place to network for a job is at a fat camp You meet *tons* of people"

"How can you tell you're at a gay cookout? The hotdogs smell like shit."

"I heard that no real accountants were consulted during the filming of the new movie The Accountant. They want the movie to be entertaining."

"How many bones are there in a graveyard? A skeleTON."

"If there's ever an apocalypse, you'll recognize me because I'll be the zombie wearing flip flops"

"What's the difference between a nun and a woman taking a bath? The nun has hope in her soul, and the woman has soap in her hole. EDIT: NSFW?"

"Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body? Dumbbelldor."

"I met a guy from Seattle on the chairlift when skiing today... I asked him if he wanted to do a run and he replied, ""No thanks, I'll pass."""

"Didja hear they're developing a new gameshow targeted specifically at an LGBT audience? Yeah - they're gonna call it ""Bruce or Dare"""