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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a nun and a woman taking a bath? The nun has hope in her soul, and the woman has soap in her hole. EDIT: NSFW?"

"What percentage of germans are not nazis? ninety-nine point nein nein nein nein nein nein nein percent"

"My bra is off, my pajamas are on, my hair is up. I'm not sure if I'm going to bed, or to Walmart."

"My grandma keeps talking about her monthly checks, prescription drugs and how much she loves Miami. I think she's a rapper."

"Just used the holiday card with your kid's face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room."

"Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my girl's hair. Its a nice way to let her know I love her and also that were out of napkins"

"Twinkle twinkle little hoe, name a guy you didn't blow."

"How do you get 4 girls to sit on one chair? You flip it upside down."

"Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces.. For example, I'm going to the liquor store and I'm scared that it's closed."

"How do you win a small fortune in Las Vegas? By spending a large fortune."