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Joke of the Day
"If there's ever an apocalypse, you'll recognize me because I'll be the zombie wearing flip flops"
Next Joke
"Two antennas meet on a roof and fall in love... They date for awhile, get engaged, and then get married. The wedding ceremony itself wasn't that great, but the reception was amazing!"
"What's blue and doesn't weigh much? Light blue"
"What can I get you to drink? ""Pepsi"" Is Peps- Uh one moment please [In kitchen, to manager] I don't know, he just said Pepsi. What do I do?"
"One time I accidentally gave my cat acid. Thought he would really freak out but he just looked at me calmly and said meow for 10 hours."
"Fox is good on Final Destination... but Fountain of Dreams is where he shines."
"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped. ;)"
"Scars make a man handsome? Bathe your cat every day and you'll become the sexiest man in the city very soon!"
"Did you hear that Rene Descartes accidentally committed suicide? He just wasn't thinking."
"Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one? A retail store."