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Joke of the Day

"I heard that no real accountants were consulted during the filming of the new movie The Accountant. They want the movie to be entertaining."

"7 days without a pun... Makes one weak."

"There once was a man from Trent.. There once was a man from Trent. His cock was so long, it bent. When he was in trouble, he tucked it in double. So instead of cumming, he went."

"We're sorry, the number you have dialed... 911 has been changed to a non-published number. Please make a note of it."

"What do you call a boat full of Karma? An Upboat."

"What do you call a one night stand with a robot? Nut and bolt"

"Regretting that I didn't install a GPS locator on the baby, because man this Hooters is a big place."

"They're coming for me They're banging on my doors. I haven't eaten an apple in months. They're forcing their way in in. The doctors are here. Tell mum I love her."

"Why don't Jewish mothers drink? Alcohol interferes with their suffering."

"What is not the answer to this question? Not this."