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Joke of the Day

"I met a guy from Seattle on the chairlift when skiing today... I asked him if he wanted to do a run and he replied, ""No thanks, I'll pass."""

"Had a fight with the wifey last night. She exclaimed ""Shut up, women are always right and men are always wrong."" to which I replied ""Yes, you are right""."

"Don't hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook."

"What's the best side of the house to build a deck on? The outside"

"What do you call an asshole who can see the future? A 4chan teller"

"Why did the electric car finish the race early? It had a short circuit."

"Hey girl, are you an acid? Because you're definitely (aq)-tie."

"They found Bruce Willis dead next to a bottle of Viagra... ...I guess he *Died Hard*"

"""Oh, THANK GOD. I'm still a dog"" What dogs probably think when they wake up from one of their little nightmares"

"What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common? Both want to be real boys"