37760

Joke of the Day

"I met a guy from Seattle on the chairlift when skiing today... I asked him if he wanted to do a run and he replied, ""No thanks, I'll pass."""

"So I just gave birth to a butt baby [NSFW] Well, actually no, it came out in a bunch of pieces so I guess it was more of a butt abortion."

"You'll be surprised how many people won't get the answer to this. Q: what's red and smells like blue paint? A: red paint."

"What is blue and smells like red paint? blue paint"

"Why don't hipsters shoot heroin? It's too mainstream"

"What's E.T short for... Cuz he's only got little legs"

"Jenna Jameson to Oprah, ""There's a little bit of Jenna Jameson in everyone."" I'm pretty sure she got that backwards."

"If you think nobody cares whether you're alive... try missing a couple of payments."

"At Toys R Us: TRU: Yessir? Me: I want a light saber. TRU: We have basic to advanced, how old is your grandson? Me: 40ish"

"If the answer to all questions is yes, so why not?"