41997

Joke of the Day

"What does a Jewish man, an Asian man, and a black man have in common? They all like cantaloupe."

"In my day, you actually had to leave your house to be a whore. Thanks, internet."

"I used to work as a prostitute... ... due to lack of fucks to give I quit my job."

"If you think nobody cares whether you're alive... try missing a couple of payments."

"What letter never satisfies it's wife? The quick E"

"Truthful Tuesday: Sometimes I just say ""Hello"" back because there are too many witnesses around to stab you repeatedly in the face."

"How are ISIS like Little Miss Muffet? Because they've got Kurds in their way."

"I'm pretty sure Morgan Freeman was narrating while the universe was being created"

"So a guy gets on a bus carrying a pole. The bus driver asks him ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" The man replies ""No, I'm Swiss. And how did you know my last name was Vaulter?""."

"Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size? Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down."