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Joke of the Day

"Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size? Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down."

"My younger dog can go to sleep in about 4 seconds. The older one takes about 6 because she's got more shit to worry about, I guess."

"I just set Twitter to post to Facebook, and Facebook to tweet to Twitter... So the internet should explode any minute now."

"Breaking up with Asians is so hard. You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message."

"How do magicians retire? They seem to just disappear."

"Today is Hitler s birthday. How about a hitler joke? Why did Hitler give the jews a shower? - They were Au-schvitzing."

"How do you tell if someone is vegan or not? Don't worry, they'll fucking tell you."

"How are bears related to cooking? The pan... duh"

"Accidentally swallowed some food coloring. I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside"

"Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen. In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill."