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Joke of the Day

"Elephant 911: What's ur em- Elephant: MOUSE Elephant 911: WHERE Elephant: FLOOR Elephant 911: JUMP ON THE TABLE [table breaking noises]"

"What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!"

"How do you fit four gays on one stool? Flip it upside-down. (sorry in advance)"

"My wife told me she wanted to see a huge diamond for her birthday So I took her to a baseball game"

"Wanted to share a Coke with my friend Amal But the closest name I could find was Juan. But I guess if you have seen Juan then you have seen Amal."

"Everytime someone call me fat,I cut myself... A slice of pizza,who want some?"

"Looking for a nice, wholesome girl I can bring home to mom. She only dates nice, wholesome girls"

"Simpsons TapOut/Awesome Best game out in long time. I'm so addicted to it that it seems to be a issue with my relationship. Lol!!!"

"Looked up the oldest trick in the book... It just showed me who the first man to patronize a prostitute was."

"[breaking up yet another fight] Me: Why do you always fight with your sisters? 6-year-old: Because I always win."