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Joke of the Day

"How do you fit four gays on one stool? Flip it upside-down. (sorry in advance)"

"What's a zombies favorite exercise? Deadlifts"

"What is a better name for cows? Lawn mooers! My 12 year old sister made this up... She out dad joked me..and I'm a dad!"

"Did you hear about the midget, fortune teller who was wanted by the police? It was a small medium at large."

"When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress? I'd prefer if you included tigress"

"What was the Preacher turned Drill Seargent's favorite command? Present Alms!"

"What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary Clinton after sex? I'll be home in 20 minutes."

"MURDERER: *while murdering me* I feel like you're not taking this seriously. ME: *eating a Belgian waffle* Wut?"

"I just read an article that says diarrhea is hereditary. Apparently it runs in your jeans."

"I bought a Female Golden retriever and named her Sophia... Because she's my Golden Girl."