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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I write out my alimony payment, I put cute things on the memo. Like ""for your next divorce"" or ""clothes that make you feel skinny""."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 was a Registered Sex Offender."

"""My birthday's coming"" Do you know what I need?"" ""Yeah but how do you wrap a life?"""

"What do the official USGA rules state when... you and your opponent are looking for his ball, and he claims to have found it, but you know he is lying because you have it in your pocket?"

"What did one ghost say to another ghost? ""Do you believe in people?"""

"Amputees will not find this joke funny: Actually, I'm going to cut this joke short."

"Sometimes I wake up crabby. Sometimes I let her sleep in."

"Is it okay to hate a certain race? I can run a 5k pretty well but these 10ks are killing me."

"Why do dentists like potatoes? Because they are so filling."

"What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head? I blame my shelf"