211230

Joke of the Day

"What do the official USGA rules state when... you and your opponent are looking for his ball, and he claims to have found it, but you know he is lying because you have it in your pocket?"

"What do you call 1000 Jews on a train? Whatever you like - They're not coming back."

"Me: You won't believe the dream I had last night! I slapped you in the face with a hot pizza. Him: M: *looks down* *sees pepperoni all over*"

"Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day Set a man on fire and he is warm for a lifetime."

"Why do black men hate posting on reddit? Because they can't deny that their comment was the parent."

"A builder came up to me. He said, ""Do you know how to make a fruit stand?"" ""Yes,"" I said. ""You just have to balance it on a flat surface."""

"What did the Eskimo say to his wife when she suggested a threesome? ""I'm Inuit."" Credit goes to R. Ebeltoft."

"My girlfriend said I should work on my foreplay. But now I'm at the range she won't stop phoning me."

"I walked in on my girlfriend cheating. I don't know what I ever saw in her... ..well, except for another dude's penis."

"My daughter told me to treat her like a princess... so I made her marry a man she has never met before in order to secure an alliance with France."