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Joke of the Day

"BE WARNED I am taking careful note of all of your sins and reporting back to God in my nightly prayers"

"How many handles do a black dude's coffin have? Have you ever seen a dumpster with four?"

"Young man, you promised you will bring my daughter back by 11 pm. First, it's 3 am and second, this is not my daughter."

"It's decided. If I have 3 kids they're getting named ""Bed"" ""Bath"" and ""Beyonce."""

"Apple once made an iPhone with a headphone jack... It was very 6S-ful"

"What kind of beef are you most likely to catch masturbating? Stroganoff"

"What did one bean say to the other? How you bean doing."

"I went to the shop to buy 5 eggs, therefore I went back to the shop to buy another egg"

"I opened the door last night to carol singers & said ""Do you know Silent Night?"" ""Yes"" they replied ""Well piss off then because I want one!"""

"Did you know if you beat up a monk then he's no longer vegetarian? He becomes a *sore-sage*."