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Joke of the Day

"Young man, you promised you will bring my daughter back by 11 pm. First, it's 3 am and second, this is not my daughter."

"I just saw a black guy driving a BMW and doing the speed limit. I'm following him until he pulls over b/c I know he has drugs in the car."

"I took two years of anger management courses Now I'm the manager of four brand new anger stores"

"what's the difference between reddit and 9gag? A week"

"What do you get when you cross a fag and a dairy farm? A Dairy Queen"

"HISTORICAL FACT: I moved to Miami too, but I didn't make such a big fucking deal about it."

"I don't understand... ...how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and yet my wife can have 152 just for our house."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his girlfriend on the other side, but then he got taken by McDonalds and crushed for chicken nuggets."

"What is Michael Bay's favorite chess move? C4."

"I had to memorize a random 18 digit password before she'd let me in. Guess who stole your Soap Opera Digest out of the mailbox, Mom?"