12979

Joke of the Day

"I opened the door last night to carol singers & said ""Do you know Silent Night?"" ""Yes"" they replied ""Well piss off then because I want one!"""

"When your boss says ""you're getting a little behind,"" he won't appreciate it when you wink and say ""been working out-thanks for noticing."""

"When I was 8 years old.. My dad put Snowballs in the blender to make a slushie. I miss Snowballs, she was such a good cat."

"Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us? Why do we have to do all the work?"

"Lions sleep 18 hrs a day.. If hard work is the secret to success , then donkeys would have been the kings of jungle!"

"Which war had the most overweight soldiers? VietNOMNOMNOM"

"What's the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? A pickpocket snatches watches."

"Why did Bruce Jenner crash his car? Because she's a woman."

"I know my limits. I don't pay any attention to them, but I know them."