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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: Ted, you're dying, Patient: My name's not Ted. Doctor (checking clipboard): Linda, you're pregnant."

"Jokes about women aren't funny... Period."

"Is your body from McDonalds? Why because you are loving it.... No ...because its fat and greasy."

"You've seen those mobile trucks for grooming pets, I just saw a mobile barbershop truck for humans and thought... I wonder if a dog drives that?"

"Buy this car, this is a good car, you could put a bunch of ducks in this car, probably 30-40 ducks"

"Who are the fastest readers? 9/11 victims- 100 storeys in 10 seconds"

"My friend just launched the second hubble into space... A hubble bubble."

"I don't really know about the effects of nocturnal drinking I'm just taking a shot in the dark."

"Old man ear hair is an evolutionary survival trait based on 10's of thousands of years to drown out spousal bitching"

"The things i say are like circles... They dont have a point."