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Joke of the Day

"I have this great joke about the Jonestown massacre but it's difficult to tell The punch line is sooo long. Edit:typo"

"What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck"

"A neutron walks into a bar... ...and asks ""how much for a drink?"" The bartender replies ""For you, no charge."""

"Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes? Because they find me more appealing."

"My wife never catches me scoping out the hot chick because she's too busy judging the hot chick."

"`Why can't you get cell phone service when you're naked? Why can't you get cell phone service when you're naked? No shirt, no shoes, no service."

"It's Earth Day... FUCK Uranus!"

"It is very wrong to ask a woman how much she weighs. (xpost from r/showerthoughts) Weight depends on the gravitational force of the planet you are on. You should ask her how massive she is."

"I have two problems in my life. My math sucks."

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? because Jewish women won't accept anything unless it has at least 20% off."