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Joke of the Day

"How does James Bond sleep? Around."

"Like a good neighbor State Farm and I haven't ever spoken."

"I like my women how I like my cars... Stuck in my garage once I'm done with them."

"Why don't vultures eat at restaurants? They don't allow carrion."

"You know Collin Kapernik? Can't stand that guy........."

"Circle jerking For when you and your friends want to finish more than each other's sentences."

"Great News! If you quit being cunty the whole world will stop being against you!"

"Dear lady arguing w/ the clerk over whether or not it is ""good"" champagne: YOU ARE IN A GAS STATION!"

"Bald people struggle with improv, They can't seem to come up with anything off the top of their head."

"You don't know humility until your Ouija board gets snippy with you."