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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I'm supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me."

"Oh look a Spider...... Oh look Listerine.... Oh look spider wiggling for life.... Minty fresh dead spider"

"I was so disappointed when I found out my ants were farming weed"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a baby who just got HIV? I didn't rape Donald Trump"

"Ghost: Are you coming to my party? Spook: Where is it? Ghost: In the morgue - you know what they say the morgue the merrier."

"Did you hear there was a blackout last night? Don't worry, we caught him"

"I never really liked gravity... ... It's always bringing me down."

"I love watching kids running in the park... They have no idea I'm shooting blanks"

"What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Houston, TX? Houston, TX will once again reach 98 degrees."

"Lyrics in modern hip hop are so bad.."