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Joke of the Day

"I was telling my friend in London a joke... ...but I wasn't sure it would translate well into English."

"If you cross a telephone and a pair of scissors what do you get? Snippy answers."

"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again."

"If you are ever attacked by a group of clowns... Always go for the juggler. . . . Credit: /u/CartoonsAreForKids"

"I did a stand up gig once for the homeless. I said ""It's nice to see so many bums on seats""."

"Hilary's reaction to learning Bill has been cheating. ""I know."""

"There's a little ""I'm jealous"" in every ""whatever."""

"If Satan lost his hair... ...there would be hell toupe."

"How do I feel about your goatee? I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that?"

"What does Gordon Ramsay say when he gets a rash? IT'S FUCKING RAW!"