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Joke of the Day

"I was telling my friend in London a joke... ...but I wasn't sure it would translate well into English."

"Call me old-fashioned, but marriage should be about a man aligning forces with a trusted ally to consolidate power & destroy common enemies"

"Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on the Internet. That was a close one."

"What college tuition assistance system program did Simba put in place once he became the Lion King? The MUFAFSA."

"I want a SPIDERMAN GO app where I have to get pictures of spiderman for a furious j jonah jameson"

"Did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory? The only thing left was de-brie"

"A dog limps into a bar... and says"" I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"""You're odd"" she said. ""Not even"" I replied."

"She: 5 mins babe He: Ok *discovers a new planet* *travels to it* *discovers life* *returns back* He: Ready? She: 5 mins babe"

"People who put ""Retired"" on their Linked In acct: I'm not certain you've grasped the site."