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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me I need to stop masturbating I asked why, he said something about examining me. Lets see what you got Reddit. Keep the title and change the punchline."

Next Joke
 
"What is a male pirates biggest fear? A sunken chest with no booty."
"When is a dog not a dog? When it is pure bread. Told to me by a friend."
"I mutter ""you arrogant asshole"" when my phone auto-corrects 'iphone' to 'iPhone'"
"My girlfriend asked if I could play wonderwall on the guitar. I said ""maybe""."
"That was like a weekend camping trip for a sex addicts anonymous group. Fucking intense."
"What do you do when your nose goes on strike? Pick it! (Picket)"
"Totally done with the history channel... Nothing but repeats."
"I'm a bad person... (NSFW) Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday."
"Wear green for St Patty's Day! You don't wanna get punched! -You mean pinched [flashback to the 6 people I punched earlier] It's pinched?"