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Joke of the Day

"Wear green for St Patty's Day! You don't wanna get punched! -You mean pinched [flashback to the 6 people I punched earlier] It's pinched?"

"A man spent millions on an impressionist painting then ate it... He put his Monet where his mouth is."

"Two windmills are in a field... ...And one says to the other, ""Hey, do you like football?"" The other one replies, ""Yeah, I'm a big fan""."

"Job interview Hiring manager: so, according to your resume you have listed ""can pee with a boner"" as a skill Me: yea bruh I guess u can say its kinda hard Manager: wow lol you're hired"

"I once met a woman with wooden breast implants This joke would be funny with a punchline, wouldn't it?"

"What does the penis say to the condom? Cover me I'm going in."

"Harassment Teacher: Frame a sentence using the word 'Harassment'. . . . Johnny: I was in love with a girl and Her Ass Meant a lot to me......."

"What are two things you can't give a black person? (Semi racist) A black eye and a fat lip."

"we're fucked When u thought that Donald Trump running for president was a joke then realized I don't have enough money saved up to move out of the country."

"What do you call a part gopher, part duck, and part you? A Gophuckyourself."