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Joke of the Day

"I mutter ""you arrogant asshole"" when my phone auto-corrects 'iphone' to 'iPhone'"

"President Clinton to maid: Mam can you do something about Hillary's room. She complains that it's the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes Mr. President--I'll remove the mirrors right away."

"How to sports: - Take a ball - Put it someplace someone else doesn't want you to put it - Congratulations you've now sportsed"

"To be a hipster is to live in constant suffering You spend all your time in coffee shops, but you always have to drink your coffee before it's cool."

"What did the Italian man who was feeling under the weather say when asked if he was attending the office Christmas party? No, I'm a Sikh."

"Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!"

"Why chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side."

"I've decided to always wear a Seahawks jersey to exams when I forget to study for them. That way I'll pass when I shouldn't."

"My girlfriend told me pissing during sex prevents pregnancy... She was right! She isn't pregnant, just pissed and wet!"

"Father: You were absent on the day of the test? Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!"