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Joke of the Day

"I noticed that my waitress had a black eye... So I ordered veeerrryyy slooowwwly, because she obviously doesn't listen."

"Hey guy in your car behind me, Your honking isn't going to make me type any faster."

"It's not Amy Schumer's fault that she steals... .. She probably picked it up from all the black guys she banged."

"I was going to tell a joke about the earth... Then I realized it was pretty terrable."

"There's this sketchy joint downtown named ""The Disco"" ... ... I hear it causes a lot of panic!"

"Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs? So that you can tell them apart from feminists"

"People in my office have this strange habit of naming their food... Yesterday, I had a sandwich named ""Michael""."

"A man is having trouble in bed, so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him he's going to need to stop masturbating. ""Why?"" the man asks. ""So I can examine you"", the doctor replies."

"My name's Stanley, but my friends call me Stan... So no one calls me Stan"

"I used to work at a french fry stand I was way over quali**fried**"