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Joke of the Day

"Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs? So that you can tell them apart from feminists"

"Whats Big, Black, Hard and full of semen? A submarine"

"TIL the average person has sex 90 times a year... ... My December is going to be fucking sick."

"How do you call a judge that only gives innocent veredicts because he gave up on law school and knows nothing? a quitter."

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't know. It kept breaking my guitar strings so I gave up."

"Two guys are walking down the road and they see a dog licking himself. First guy says, ""Boy I sure wish I could do that."" Second guy says, ""I think you should try to pet him first."""

"only 10 to live Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"Which lawyers are U2 fans? The pro bono ones"

"I tried to offer my school administrator a bribe But he was too principled"

"I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."