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Joke of the Day

"People in my office have this strange habit of naming their food... Yesterday, I had a sandwich named ""Michael""."

"It's weird how in England the passenger drives the car"

"What do you do if your lawnmower stops working? Deport him"

"I once saw a real bear in the wild and said ""Aww, look at him!"" What I'm saying is, don't turn to me for practical thinking in an emergency."

"You know what's messed up to find at the bottom of a jar of mayonnaise? A condom. haha"

"Why won't you read this joke? Cause you've already reddit!"

"Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement... ...in the end, you ignore it all and click ""I agree""."

"This milk is so far past it's expiration date I'm only gonna have a small slice."

"A windmill asked me for an autograph... I said ""You must be a big fan"""

"CNN writer: how's this - my phone is missing. CNN exec: meh Writer: It was on AIRPLANE mode! *CNN exec absolutely loses it*"