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Joke of the Day

"A man is having trouble in bed, so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him he's going to need to stop masturbating. ""Why?"" the man asks. ""So I can examine you"", the doctor replies."

"What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff."

"How to make a plumber to cry How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family. :)"

"I don't know why, but books about medicine are hilarious. The section about urinary tract infections made me pee my pants."

"Autocorrect has been around for centuries, I got mine when I married my wife."

"Poland... Poland - a country between Russia to the east and Germany to the west. If they piss Russia off, they turn the gas off. If they piss Germany off they turn the gas on."

"what's the best part of living in Sweden? Well, the flags a big plus. edit: FUCK meant Switzerland"

"Has anybody lost a large roll of 20 dollar notes in a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band"

"Joe was chopping wood with his Dad Joe: Dad, I think I want to be a pilot! Dad: That's great, start over there. You can grab that wood and pile it."

"If I spray a mosquito with mosquito repellant... Will he be so filled with self loathing that he commits suicide?"