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Joke of the Day

"A nurse reached into her pocket looking for her pen and found a rectal thermometer instead. She turned to her colleague and said ""some asshole has got my pen""."

"I have but one greviance with the airplane pilots. Fantastic chaps, but good God, they're never grounded."

"What mental disorder did the serial killer who stabbed his victim 23 times have? OCD."

"To get to the other side. Why did Yoda cross the road?"

"My daughter was whining about her chores. She asked if she needed to vacuum the whole apartment. I said, ""no, just do the floor."""

"Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball? Because it's covered with horsehide!"

"That awkward moment when you run into your old pizza guy and you're with your new much younger pizza guy."

"Intellectual Property Carpe TM."

"A granny comes to see a doctor - and the doctor is a granny too."

"Did you hear about the guy that copied a joke on /r/jokes? He insisted it wasn't a riposte."