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Joke of the Day

"I have but one greviance with the airplane pilots. Fantastic chaps, but good God, they're never grounded."

"The worst thing about life is getting comfortable and then realizing that you don't have the remote."

"I thought I'd spent all night disco dancing with this girl in a club. But apparently she was deaf and telling me to f*ck off'."

"What does a Syrian pirate say? Allah AkbARRR"

"I have a serious inflation fetish... So I moved to zimbabwe."

"Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? A: They all have phones."

"i bet today is the most confusing day in harlem!"

"Mom called to ask if I'd take her shopping. Me: What time? Mom: Anytime between 1-4. Apparently my Mom works for the cable company now."

"Did you hear about the Indian who drank too much tea? He drowned in his teepee. -My Uber Driver"

"Oranges got their name from their orange juice-like flavor and orange juice-like color."