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Joke of the Day
"I try to refrain from farting while I masturbate. For I am a gentleman."
Next Joke
"Can we all stop pretending that alcohol tastes good?"
"My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw."
"Body Glitter: For the girl who wants to leave a sparkling trail of daddy issues everywhere she goes"
"You know what I like better than a good non-sequitur? ."
"I understand that your heart is in the right place. Unfortunately, your head is up your ass, and I ain't goin in after it."
"Apple profits have been going through the roof One might say... they're back in mac. *I'll see myself out.*"
"Husband: Can I use your phone? Me: *throwing phone in the ocean* My what?"
"Marriage is like a hurricane... Starts with a bunch of sucking and blowing, and at the end you lose your house."
"Why do mermaids wear seashells? *wait for it* Because they grew out of their B-shells!"