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Joke of the Day
"What do an anorexic person and Sonic the Hedgehog have in common? They both gotta go fast."
Next Joke
"1. What do you call a man with a flamethrower? 2. What do you call his first victim? 3. What do you call his second victim? 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash"
"What did Anne Frank say when she threw a ball at the water fowl's head? Duck!"
"[normal life] ive worn the same shirt everyday for a week [packing for vacation] hmmm. i'll prob change a few times a day so thats...32 shirts"
"Long distance relationships almost never work out.. Because for example: The distance from Dallas TX to Chicago IL is 967.2 mi. The average penis size is 4 inches."
"Don't tease fat girls; elephants never forget."
"99 bugs in my code, 99 bugs in my code... Take one down, fix em' around, 404 bugs in my code."
"8:00am on a Saturday morning and my neighbor was mowing his lawn. Now he looks really funny covered in paint balls"
"Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls? Family reunions."
"For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job..."