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Joke of the Day
"Want to know the secret to killing two birds with one stone? Throw it twice."
Next Joke
"Why did the alarm go off at the mansion? Because the owner entered the correct code."
"I bought an iPod from El Chapo... But now I have to keep jailbreaking it."
"So a blind man walks by a fish market... he take a deep breath, then exhales and says ""Good morning ladies!"""
"Lions do NOT share. If you try to give them half a hoagie, they will take it, plus your half, plus your arm, plus I am inside a lion."
"How do you know if someone has been to Florida? They'll tell you."
"If a meteorite hits a planet, what do you call the ones that miss? A meteor-WRONG!"
"Q: What's red and not there? A: No tomatoes."
"Cashier at McDonalds said ""See you later"" a little too smugly at breakfast. I did not appreciate her condescension and told her so at lunch."
"People who are offended when I breastfeed in public need to STFU. What I'm doing is natural and strengthens the bond between me and my dog."