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Joke of the Day

"I don't see why everybody wants a white iPhone... Everyone knows the black ones run faster!"

"I bought myself a new hairdryer but it's faulty. It sucks."

"When I first saw you from across the room, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you."

"It may be illegal to steal kitchen utensils, but what can I say? I'm a whisk taker"

"muffins So there were these two muffins. They go into the oven and one muffin says to the other ""is it hot in here or is it just me?"" The other muffin says ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"Star Wars Joke. How many stormtroopers does it take to change a glowpanel? 2. One to change it, and another to shoot him and take the credit."

"3-year-old: *stares at the baby* What does it do? Me: Nothing yet. She's not here to entertain you. 3: Me: 3: Can we get one that is?"

"Why does the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing :D"

"My girlfriend left me after I broke her wheelchair..... Oh,, I think she'll come crawling back soon.."

"I felt super exhausted after giving blood. It's such a draining procedure."