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Joke of the Day

"Wonder which part of Batman's belt holds the bat-shaped throat lozenges he uses after speaking in his tough voice for long periods of time."

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit's finger"

"What did the pickle say to the cucumber? Come on in the water's brine!"

"Ever hear the one about the midget and the razor blade? Me either, it got cut short."

"Every time I use <3 in an @ to someone, I can't help but think, ""Please accept this carrot with balls as a token of how much I heart you."""

"What do you call a psychic midget that escapes prison? A small medium at large."

"How do you circumcise a Hill-Billy? You kick his sister in the jaw."

"The movie Interstellar was so deep that.. Adele was rolling in it"

"As a kid, the thing that used to annoy me about going to church was all the standing up and sitting down and kneeling... I wish the priest could just pick a position and fuck me."

"You know why it's called PMS? ...there's already something called Mad Cow Disease."